Kissing Robert Read online

  “I am. Your friend, that is. I hope you know that.”

  “I do.”

  They arrived at the theater and climbed out of the car.

  “How is it going with Dolf, anyway?” he asked. “Have you guys, you know…” he made a pumping gesture with his fist and raised his eyebrows.

  “Impertinent question!” she laughed, shoving him. “And no, we haven’t. But we’ve made out several times and that’s been absolutely fantastic.” She shivered deliciously inside her coat. “We’re supposed to spend this weekend together, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, honestly.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know…it’s been so long…I feel like maybe I forgot how.”

  Tad guffawed and put her arm through his.

  “Worry not, my dear,” he said. “I’m sure it will work out. Tab A in slot B and all that jazz.”

  “You have such an elegant way with words,” she giggled.

  “It’s a gift,” he said, shrugging.

  “And what about you, then?” she asked. “Anybody special in your life yet? I have a couple of friends who think you’re awfully cute.”

  “Really? Moi?” he made an exaggerated shocked face. “Thank you but I’m determined to find my own way through this. Maybe I’ll become a monk.”

  “Don’t say that. There’s somebody special for you out there.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, I’m content to wait and see.”

  After rehearsal was over, one of the other actors, a solidly-built, dark-haired man named Todd, turned to Olivia.

  “Hey,” he said. “Some of us are going over to Mickey’s pub. You guys want to come?”

  “I don’t know,” she began. “I should probably get home to my kids—“

  “I’m sure they’re fine,” Tad interjected. “They’re in bed now, right? Mom won’t mind a bit if we go for a while.”

  “Really? You think? Do you mind to call her anyway and make sure first? She’ll be more honest with you if she’s up to it.”

  The call was made. When Tad hung up, he affirmed his opinion.

  “Mom’s just sitting and watching HGTV and drinking your wine,” he said. “She says she’s perfectly content to stay another hour or so.”

  “Okay then,” Olivia said. “We’ll come along.”

  Mickey’s pub was not crowded, and the group of thespians found two booths to spread out in. Olivia sat next to Tad, who was next to Mary, an older woman, who was across from Greg, a flamboyant young man who ran the lights and sounds, and Todd.

  As they talked and drank their various beers, Olivia began to get more and more uncomfortable. Todd was staring. Not just looking in friendly conversation, but staring at her every time she looked at him. Then she felt a foot on her foot. When she moved, it followed. She looked at Todd and he was smiling a smile that was not at all pleasant. She excused herself to go to the bathroom.

  As she exited into the restaurant, he was there. He appeared to be waiting to get into the men’s room.

  “Hey Olivia,” he said, standing and blocking her way, breathing his beer-breath in her face. “You sure light my fire if you know what I mean.”

  “That’s nice, Todd,” she said, although she didn’t think it nice at all. “I’m seeing someone, though.”

  “Never mind that,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Nobody has to know anything. C’mon, give me a kiss.”

  “No, really,” she said firmly. “I’m seeing someone. We’re pretty serious.”

  “Don’t be a cagey bitch,” he said. “You’re just saying that.”

  “No, I’m not. I am seeing someone. Now please, let me past.”

  Slowly he stepped aside, and as she passed, he pinched her rear end. She whirled around and slapped his face.

  “Never…” she said, breathless with rage. “Never do that again.”

  “Sexy,” he said, smiling again while holding his hand over his cheek. “Very sexy to be hit by a woman. See you around, Olivia.” He disappeared into the men’s room.

  “Let’s go,” she said to Tad as she approached the table. He could see by her face that she was livid, and he grabbed their coats and trotted to catch up with her as she headed out the door. The cold night air hit her and she took great gulps of it, trying to calm down. Her head was filled with fantasies of what she would like to do to Todd in that moment, wishing she had thought of something better to say.

  “Olivia, what happened?” Tad asked, draping her coat over her shoulders and shrugging into his own. “What’s wrong?”

  She relayed to him the exchange, and he frowned, hard.

  “Was he totally drunk?” he wondered. “I mean, that doesn’t excuse him, but it might explain it.”

  “I don’t think he had that much to drink. And I seriously doubt he’s a lightweight. He seemed perfectly sober to me.” Unwanted tears of frustration pricked her eyes and she dashed them away angrily. “What the fuck, Tad? Why are men such assholes?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” he said, looking grim. “I wish I could apologize on my sex’s behalf, but I know it won’t really help.”

  She sighed heavily and began to walk towards the car, arms folded across her chest, head down. Tad followed closely behind. The drive back to her house was silent, and Olivia felt depressed. Had she invited the advance? Had she been too friendly in rehearsal towards Todd, in particular? No. She was certain of it. Besides, she scolded herself sternly, no woman invites such unwanted attention.

  But what could she do about it? She wondered. It’s not like it happened in the workplace. What were the rules, exactly, outside the workplace? If he was threatening, she could involve the police. But he wasn’t threatening, not exactly…

  “I wish I was bigger,” Tad said suddenly. “I’d punch him right in the nose for you. Maybe take him down with a flying jujitsu move, if I knew any. Man, I’d love to be a fighter right now.”

  “I appreciate the sentiment,” she said, smiling sadly. “I wish I knew some powerful moves myself too.”

  “What do you want to do about it?” he said. “Do you think you should call the police? File a complaint or something?”

  “I was just thinking about that,” she said. “But he wasn’t really endangering me at any point. Maybe I should just forget about it and move on. It really sucks because this play has been a real high point in my life, you know? And now I’m dreading the next rehearsal.”

  “I’m sorry,” said Tad. “I can only imagine. I’ll talk to him, if that might help. I can tell him to keep his hands off you, or else. Or else what, I’m not sure.”

  “I’m not either.”

  They pulled up to Olivia’s house and woke up Francine, who had fallen asleep on the couch. They said their goodbyes and soon Olivia was in bed, lying in the darkness, fighting tears again. The encounter had left her feeling so abased, so diminished, and she couldn’t shake it. She snapped on the TV to try to distract herself, but there was nothing on that held her interest. Getting up, she padded to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. She wished she could talk to Dolf, but it was 1:30am and she didn’t think he’d appreciate it.

  Sitting at her computer, she pulled up the search engine and typed in self-defense classes. Several options appeared, and she chose the one with the highest rating, signing up for a class starting the week after Thanksgiving. Next time somebody touched her ass, they were getting more than a slap.

  FIVE

  “I’ve never been in a private jet before,” Olivia said, walking into the spacious cabin and sitting in the reclining leather-clad seat.

  “What do you think?” he said, sitting next to her and handing her a glass of wine. He sipped his whiskey and took her hand in his. “Do you like it?”

  “I like it very much,” she said. “But not half as much as I like you.”

  “Shoot,” he said, smiling that endearing smile that wrinkled the corners of his eyes and showed off his pe
rfectly straight, white teeth. “I feel the same about you. How’d I ever manage to snag someone like you?”

  “Just lucky, I guess,” she said, leaning in to him. He responded by burying his face in her neck and lavishing her with small kisses until she giggled madly and pulled away.

  “That tickles!” she said, draining her glass of wine and setting it down. She had never felt happiness like this before, and having the desire of a man as rich and famous as him focused on her made her warm from her head to her toes. “You could have anyone in the world, you know. Anyone.”

  “Don’t want anyone in the world. Just want you,” he muttered, kissing her hand and running his tongue along her open palm until her insides turned to mush—

  “Mom? Are you all right?”

  Beatrice. Standing in the bedroom doorway with a worried look on her face.

  “You were moaning.”

  “Oh, uh…sorry; it was just a dream.” She threw the covers back and sat up, stretching. “Is Bradley up?”

  “Yeah, he’s been up for hours, just watching out the window for Dad. I helped him pack his duffle bag.”

  “Thank you sweetheart,” she said, going into the bathroom. “What time is it?”

  “Nine-thirty.”

  “Nine-thirty!” she exclaimed, alarmed. “Dad is supposed to be here at—”

  With that, Olivia heard an exclamation of excitement from Bradley, heard the front door fly open with a bang, and Jacob’s voice fill the air.

  “Hey, Brad! How are you?” it said.

  “Now?” Beatrice finished the sentence for her.

  “Now,” Olivia groaned, hastily washing her hands. Jacob here now, with no time for her to prepare.

  Never mind. She told herself. It’s not like he’s never seen you in the morning before. Still, she liked to look her best when seeing him. It was a point of pride. Nevertheless, she walked out in her cami and pajama pants, brushing the tangled strands of her hair with her fingers.

  “Hey Jacob,” she said, coming into the hallway. He turned to her and frowned slightly.

  “Did I wake you up?”

  “No, not at all,” she said, trying to look wide awake. “I just hadn’t gotten dressed yet.”

  “Ah,” he said, and she chafed at the one syllable. Still, maybe it was better this way. Maybe he would think that she didn’t give a crap about his opinion of her. Which she absolutely shouldn’t.

  “You guys ready to have fun with Dad?” she asked her children in her brightest voice. They nodded, Bradley clambering to be picked up by his father. Jacob obliged, and the small boy laid his head on his shoulder. Olivia’s heart twisted. She leaned forward to give him a kiss goodbye, and the scent of Jacob’s cologne enveloped her. She remembered a time when she would have kissed him as well, just as easily as breathing, and as she looked at him she could tell that he was thinking the same thing. It made her feel sad and glad at the same time.

  “Bye, Mom,” said Beatrice, hugging her. “Have fun with Dolf.” This was said quite pointedly for Jacob’s benefit, Olivia knew, and she smiled.

  “I sure will,” she said, nonchalant as she could muster. Jacob’s face was startled, but only momentarily.

  “Okay guys, let’s get going,” he said. “I thought we could go ice skating first; does that sound like fun?”

  “Yes!” they said in unison, and Olivia was gratified that Beatrice, too, seemed genuinely thrilled. She shut the door as they exited, and watched as they piled in the car, making certain that Jacob installed Bradley in his car seat first. The man was prone to carelessness when it came to safety. They drove away and she watched until they were out of sight. The sorrow in her heart throbbed for a moment before being replaced by a growing anticipation.

  I’ll see Dolf at my yoga class at 5:30. She thought. And then we’ll have the whole weekend together.

  And the delicious shiver she felt completely chased away the shadows of sorrow and regret.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  After yoga class—which Olivia felt went pretty well this time around; at least, she didn’t fall on her face—she and Dolf went back to the house so she could get cleaned up and pack a bag. Once inside the door, however, he grabbed her arm, spun her around, and pressed her against the wall.

  “Kiss me, you fool,” she giggled, as he pressed his lips against hers obediently. She ran her hands through his hair and he leaned forward, picking her up in his arms and carrying her out of the foyer.

  “Which bedroom is yours?” he asked, somewhat breathlessly. She directed him to the end of the hall, where he set her on the bed, leaning over her for another kiss, full of heat and longing.

  “I need a shower,” she said as they came apart.

  “By all means,” he said, gesturing to the door. “I’ll join you.”

  They stripped off their clothes and stepped into the water together, where Dolf lathered her up, caressing her body gently as she leaned into him. She was breathless with desire as his lips met hers and soon they were fully engaged in a lively romp on her bed, where he proved himself to be an attentive and generous lover.

  “Livie, oh, Livie,” he said, rolling over and gathering her close when they were done. “I think I might need the defibrillation paddles.”

  “Yeah,” she said weakly. “Oh yeah.”

  “Did I do okay?” he asked. “Was it…good?”

  “Good?” she said, incredulous. “Holy crap, do you even need to ask? The best. I think my toes turned inside out.”

  “Great!” he laughed. She snuggled next to him, head on his arm, and gazed up at his face, glowing with satisfaction. They lay there together for some time, thrumming with satisfaction, until their hunger got the best of them and they rose to raid the kitchen, noshing on leftover spaghetti and chicken nuggets. To Olivia, it was the best meal she could ever remember having.

  The rest of the weekend was magical. They spent the whole time at her house, mostly in bed, and by the time she waved good-bye to him on Sunday afternoon, she was thoroughly satiated. Never in her life had she felt so full of bonhomie and contentment. Jacob brought Beatrice and Bradley back around five o’clock, and she welcomed them at the door with arms open wide.

  “I missed you so much!” she exclaimed, her conscience smiting her only a little for the lie. “Did you guys have fun? Did you eat a lot of pie?”

  “Yes!” Bradley said, snuggling into her middle. “I ate punkin, and apple, but not pecan. That’s gross.”

  “It was fun,” Beatrice said. “We got to see some of the cousins at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I played a lot of cards.”

  “It was a good time,” Jacob agreed, coming up the steps behind them. “Thank you for letting me have them, Olivia.”

  “No problem,” Olivia said with a smile. “I’m so glad they had fun. Thank you for that.”

  “No problem,” he said back, looking at her curiously. “You look well. Kind of…glowing.” “Really?” she blushed.

  “Yeah, mom, you are,” said Beatrice. “Where’s Dolf?”

  “Oh, he had to go home,” Olivia answered. “But we’ll see him again real soon.”

  “Okay.”

  “Well I’ll get out of your hair,” Jacob said, ruffling Bradley’s curls and giving Beatrice a hug. “I’ll be in touch. Love you, kids.” He retreated down the stairs. Olivia shut the door.

  “Can we decorate for Christmas now?” Beatrice asked. “We always do it after Thanksgiving!”

  “Yes! Yes!” Bradley cried, pulling off his coat and shoes. “Christmas!”

  “Oh…” Olivia said. It was scarcely registering for her that the holiday had come and gone, as she and Dolf had hardly marked it, eating take-out Chinese food during their time together, in between falling into bed or watching reruns of old comedies. Now, however, the weight of the calendar fell upon her forcefully as her children gazed up at her with shining eyes.

  “Sure! Let’s do it!” she answered. “After dinner!”

  As promised, when they were done eat
ing, Olivia climbed carefully down from the attic, arms full of boxes. Although the very thought of decorating exhausted her mentally, she knew she couldn’t disappoint them. She had to get her head in the game. The first Christmas after she and Jacob had separated had been completely dismal; she hadn’t decorated at all, and spent the whole day crying. She was determined to do better this time around.

  Bradley fairly danced at her feet as she set the boxes on the coffee table and straightened up to go get more.

  “Where’s the tree, Mom; which one’s the tree?” he asked. “We have to do the tree first!”

  “Okay, Bradley, don’t worry. I’ll get it. It’s up there, it’s just heavy!”

  “I can help!”

  “No, I don’t want you up in the attic. It’s too dangerous.”

  She headed back up the rickety fold-down ladder to retrieve the precious item, and muscled it with all her strength down into the house once more. Pulling out the pieces, she frowned. Assembling the tree had always been Jacob’s job.

  “Let me help, Mom! I always helped Daddy! I know how to do it,” Bradley insisted, noticing her consternation.

  “All right, son. Here, this piece goes first, that much I’m sure of.”

  “And that piece is next. And then that one. And that one is last.”

  “Good job. Here, help me fluff out the branches. They’re all squashed. Bea, come help.”

  “Ugh,” her daughter said, rising from the couch where she was perusing the ornaments. “I hate this part.”

  “I know but otherwise it’s just going to look like a blob.”

  After ten minutes of fluffing, the tree once again looked conical and Christmassy. They got busy with hanging ornaments on it, the kids reminiscing over every homemade item and preschool fabrication.

  “Mom, what do you want to do with this one?” Beatrice asked, holding up a ceramic couple. Standing beneath a Christmas tree, they gazed adoringly into one another’s eyes. The ornament was labeled Broadstreet Family, est. 2007. Olivia’s heart twisted in her chest. Jacob had bought the item special-order for their very first Christmas together.