New World Ashes Read online

  The boy’s head jiggled in what looked more like a tremor of fear than a nod, but the soldier seemed placated. Glaring at the mother she lowered the gun, though she did not re-holster it.

  The mother nodded too, cradling the now still boy. Tears were streaming down her face as the soldiers hauled her older semiconscious son to his feet and began to drag him away. She did nothing to stop them. The young man’s once immaculate uniform was now splattered with blood, his dark head lolling to the side. My blood boiled as the mother merely turned away, clasping a hand over her mouth to staunch her own cries.

  There was no mention of a trial or hearing—that boy would never see justice. The soldiers were dragging him away to his death. And nobody was stopping them.

  My chest felt like it was going to explode. Rage and revulsion ballooned inside of me, growing with each passing second. How could Ryker ask me to help these people who wouldn’t even help their own? I was thinking about getting up, walking away and telling all of these cowardice people to screw off, but a voice called out through the crowd, causing my brain to go silent.

  “Anyone found consorting with the rebels will be brought to justice. We are here to protect you, the people. To keep life within The Wall safe. To keep The Sanctuary pure.” Gage’s voice rang out, echoing back off the surrounding buildings. He was dressed in his military best, white uniform adorned with silver metals and the emblem of The Sanctuary. “For The Minister! For equality! For The Sanctuary!”

  The crowd echoed back his cry with less enthusiasm.

  “Take him to be sentenced!” Gage pointed at the young teen barely older than himself. The older soldiers obeyed, dragging the still bleeding, still unconscious youth toward a vehicle waiting in an alley. I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming.

  Gage’s cold, dead eyes swept the street as if hoping someone would challenge him. A chill swept up my spine as his eyes passed over the area where we knelt. A manic smile grew on his lips as he took in the crowd. A sadist ruling over a city of submissives. Without another word he turned and marched to the vehicle. The moment Gage’s back was turned, my hand quivered, longing for the gun in my pocket.

  Ryker hissed out of the side of his mouth.

  An older soldier, maybe Mae’s age, stepped toward us, his barrel pointed right at my nose. “Do you have something to say?”

  I looked up at him, my mouth opening with a smart retort ready to spill free. My hands were equally eager to disarm him and retaliate. But just before the words slipped out, I caught sight of myself in the reflection of the man’s visor. It wasn’t my face staring back, but Petra’s. Thaddeus’s warning came back to me. It would be his family punished not mine. I could escape with no repercussions, but he and his wife would die for my rash actions. Ryker’s breath was steady next to mine, but I could feel the tension rolling off of him.

  Closing my mouth I shook my head and stared submissively at the soldier’s shoes.

  “Thought not.” He grumbled and stepped away, but he was keeping a closer watch on us than before. It felt like an eternity until another citizen drew the soldier’s attention away from us, an older man who had simply shifted his weight to relieve the pain in his knees.

  When the transport vehicle pulled away, the soldiers began to lower their weapons. A sharp whistle sounded, making me jump. On cue, the people began to gather their things and resume their evening. Now the only difference was that no one smiled or nodded at the mother still cradling her distraught child. On the contrary, they gave them a wide berth.

  Only the soldiers and I could not seem to look away.

  My entire body cringed when Ryker’s arm wrapped around my waist. Pulling me close in the pretense of helping me to my feet, he whispered in my ear. “Get up. Walk at a casual pace and put your hood back up as soon as we clear the corner.”

  THE SECOND THE front door to Thaddeus’ house clicked shut behind us I exploded.

  “What the hell was THAT!?”

  “That was a false arrest.” Ryker pushed back his hood. Thaddeus’s face winked in and out as Ryker’s fingers fumbled to remove the clip from his ear.

  “A false arrest? That’s what you wanted me to see? The big life-altering moment that would make me want to save those people?” I ripped the device from my own ear. It gave a mechanical screech as I yanked it away and flung it into Ryker’s emotionless face. “I just watched a teenage boy get sent to his death, and the only one who said anything was his kid brother! Nobody else did a damn thing about it!”

  “Those people couldn’t have done—”

  “Couldn’t or wouldn’t? Because there is a huge difference.” I shoved past Ryker into the passageway door he had just opened in the wall.

  “Those other people in the streets are innocents trapped here, just like—”

  “Innocents?!” I rounded on Ryker. “That young man, he was innocent. And the people you want me to so righteously save let him be dragged away to his death today. It seems to me that the adults here have forgotten what morals are. The only ones who seem brave enough to stand up to The Minister are children! They are the innocent ones. Not the other cowards huddling in the street. I have heard people scream for help in Tartarus and done nothing to save them. I now realize that by ignoring their cries, I am partly responsible for their deaths. I was not innocent. And those people are not innocent either.” I gesticulated with my finger, pointing back at the streets we had just left.

  Ryker paused at the door to the tunnels, carefully checking his watch before turning the handle. His face was growing red with frustration. This obviously wasn’t going as he had planned. The color deepened when he opened his mouth to speak and I cut him off again.

  “Initially, I only chose to help the Subversive because it helped me, but the truth is, it was the first place where anyone ever looked out for me. They looked after each other. They risked their lives for each other. Hell, even the Tribes defend their own! Your people, your people do nothing but watch each other suffer and act like it’s not happening. Do they really not know that their beloved leader is just a monster in a skin suit?”

  “These people have been spoon-fed lies since the day they were born. They know almost nothing about the man they think is their savior. And those who know, believe it’s better to sit beside the throne than be crushed beneath it.” Ryker’s voice rose. When I refused to stop and listen his hands clamped over my shoulders and with sheer force he slammed me up against the wall. My body recoiled as he pressed his against mine, pinning me in place. My chin hit the middle of his heaving chest. Sparks flew between our eyes as we glared at each other.

  His mouth twisted as he spoke. “Those people have been mistreated and abused for so long they’re not sure what is right or wrong anymore. Our population is over twenty-five thousand. Nearly forty-five percent are military. Sure, there are some who agree with The Ministry’s brutality and supremacy. But most of our people spend every day in fear.”

  I pushed my chin out digging it into his chest plate.

  “I was a child, and even then I had the courage to stand up to that monster and tell him he was wrong. I knew and I acted on it. My parents fought back too. Those people out there are ignorant about what is happening around them. And ignorance gets people killed. And those soldiers are misguided idiots. Stupidly thinking they are serving their city when really they are repressing it. Why should I risk my life to help them when they won’t even help themselves?” I shoved as hard as I could. Ryker released me after a moment. When his hands let go, I lashed out causing him to stagger backward a few paces. I glared at him. Without another word I continued down the tunnel, with him hot on my heels.

  Ryker stepped in front of me, blocking my path, but he did not touch me this time.

  “You’re right, they are ignorant. They have no idea there are better ways, but they are not blissful in their ignorance. This city is drowning in fear. These people are blind—lost in the darkness and they are scared. They need someone to show them the way. To
show them there are choices. To guide them.”

  I rolled my eyes and tried to step around him, but he parried my advance again.

  “They don’t deserve to be punished for their lack of knowledge. It is only those who see the truth and still turn a blind eye that should be punished.” His eyes burned with passion. “Most of those people have not chosen a side because they didn’t know there was a side to choose. But they will. The day will come when they have to choose. And that day is almost here.”

  “Yeah, good luck with that.” I rammed my shoulder into his sternum, shoving him aside. I glanced at a flashing camera on the wall and hastened my steps. I could hear Ryker moving up behind me.

  “It’s fear!” Ryker bellowed. “They are scared, Prea!”

  I didn’t stop walking, carefully retracing the path we had taken earlier.

  “Only weak people let their fears stop them from doing what’s right.” I snarled.

  “Oh and you have always done the right thing?” His tone soured.

  “HA!” I barked out a false laugh. “That’s so righteous coming from you.”

  We had reached the door that lead to his house. I stopped in front of it, staring at the electronic keypad. I didn’t know the code to enter. Folding my arms across my chest, I glared up at him.

  “You are so dense!” He punched the keypad with unnecessary force. “You don’t understand. It’s not the same here. They have no choice.”

  I shoved him aside and wrenched the door open as the locks released. We stepped inside the small room off of the corridor.

  I shoved my finger in his face. “Everyone has a choice!”

  Ryker was already shaking his dark head, leaning over me with his towering height. “You’re not listening! That choice has been taken from them!”

  I turned on him. Pulling myself up to full height I held my ground. We were both screaming now. “That mother did nothing! She cried and did nothing to save her child! How could she have let them take her son? I would have fought! I would have died first!”

  “I am sure she would have too, but it’s not just her life in the balance! It’s not always as simple as sacrificing yourself!” Ryker’s eyes were ablaze as he stepped closer. “The soldiers would have killed her, then her other child, then her husband and then her friends. That’s what you don’t understand, Phoenix! You have only had to care about yourself for years. You don’t know what it is to have those you love die because of your actions. Would you be willing to sacrifice Mouse just to stand up for what you believe in?”

  My face went slack. I faltered. “N…No…”

  “See, it’s not that simple. Not when love is involved.”

  I glared at Ryker, hating him for demonstrating that I might be just as weak as those people. A few months ago, I thought love was merely a frivolous emotion shared between sexually charged lovers, but it was so much more. Love was more powerful than hate or fear, it was all-consuming and worth dying for. I had proven that when I sacrificed my life to save Mouse and Triven. But Ryker was right. It was easy to sacrifice yourself, but could you sacrifice the ones you loved too?

  As my anger ebbed, I became acutely aware of how uncomfortably close our bodies were now that the screaming had stopped. Both of our chests were heaving with anger and exertion. Ryker’s breath was hot on my skin. Before I could move, his hands were gathering my face. His lips swooped down, claiming mine. Shock froze me in place. My eyes popped wide as he kissed me with an unexpected fierceness. His vibrant eyes were open, watching me as his lips moved hungrily against mine. I didn’t move.

  Suddenly my mind clicked back to life and regained control of my body. My knee wrenched upward catching him in the gut. His lips released mine as he heaved out air and staggered backward. Reflexively Ryker’s hands flew up to protect his face but he didn’t fight back.

  I advanced on him like a predator, only stopping once his back hit the wall.

  I stared at him incredulously. My fist froze in the air ready to strike. He just raised his chin prepared to receive my retribution. Ryker’s eyes were filled with defiance and arrogance, but also fear. Not of physical pain, but rejection. Maddox’s face flickered across my vision, merging with Ryker’s. I shook my head. A strange feeling tugged at my heart, making my chest ache. I hated that feeling.

  “Screw you.” I growled and turned to walk away. Even though Ryker’s advances were a far cry from Maddox’s, they were still unwarranted and unwanted.

  “Prea…” He said it so quietly I wasn’t sure at first if he spoke at all. I stopped by the doorframe. My whole body shook with anger.

  “Your Prea is dead!” I rounded on him. Then letting the rage boiling within me surface, I punched the wall next to his head. He flinched. White-hot fire shot up my arm as I screamed with rage more than pain. The plaster cracked under my blow, splintering as the knuckles in my hand broke. Keeping my fist balled up, I strode from the room refusing to look back.

  22. PROMISES

  WHEN I ENTERED our room, Triven was pacing the floor. A book lay facedown open on our bed, forgotten. His back was turned to me. One hand was tapping nervously at his side, while the other ran idly through his hair. My stomach clenched. Triven had always kept this worried, nervous side of himself well hidden from me. I knew that he never wanted to appear weak. The same as I did. Pride was a dangerous thing. A fault we both shared.

  Then, a dawning realization crept over me as I watched him. My chest began to ache as he anxiously paced. His pain was my pain. His fear was my fear. And for the first time I understood it wasn’t always about pride. Sometimes we hid parts of ourselves to protect those we cared for. I took an unsteady breath.

  “Triven.” I said his name with reverence.

  He spun on his heels. The entirety of his body relaxed at the sound of my voice. A warm smile lit his face as his eyes met mine, but quickly faded when they fell upon my hand. I clutched it closer to my chest, as if to conceal it from him. He closed the gap between us in five strides and pulled me gently into his arms. After a few heartbeats he let go and gently slid his fingers down my arm to my injured hand. I had spilt two of the knuckles and the inflamed skin was already yellowing.

  “It’s broken,” he sighed. “Do I want to know what happened?”

  “Probably not.” I said honestly.

  “That bad?” Triven smiled, trying to ease the tension.

  “Ryker kissed me.” I said his name with residual malice. A flash of pain shot up my arm as Triven’s hands reflexively squeezed a little too tightly. As I sucked in air, he instantly adjusted his grip. His smile wavered.

  “Please tell me you broke your hand punching him in the face.” Triven said, carefully examining my hand again. His tone was a little too tight.

  “The wall actually.”

  “Too bad, the pompous ass could use a little humility,” he said.

  “Triven…” I sighed, then laughed darkly.

  “Well, it’s true.” He muttered.

  He was right. Ryker was an ass, but there was something about hearing Triven say it that made it seem harsher. Triven got along with almost everyone. I, on the other hand, hated pretty much everybody. But the truth was, as much as I wanted to hate Ryker, I didn’t. Not really. After hearing Triven’s tone, however, I wasn’t sure the same could be said for him.

  I looked at my hand, unable to meet Triven’s eyes as I spoke. “I should have broken his nose, but… As much as it irritates me to say it, I couldn’t. For a split second, it made me think of Maddox and I just couldn’t hit him. I don’t know why. It’s not the same with Ryker as it was with Maddox. I don’t like him but maybe it’s that I owe him too. No matter how hard I deny it, there is some… connection between us. We have a history. Even though my mind can’t remember it… it’s like a part of me does. It’s hard to explain. I hate him and I don’t. He understands me. He can get under my skin. I hate that he kissed me, that he even touched me. Ryker is a manipulative ass, but he’s not the enemy. He risked his life to save me.
I despise owing him my life. But I still do.”

  Triven pulled away, dropping my hand. When I reached for him, he turned away from me. I caught the pain that flashed across his handsome features before he could hide his face. He took a few determined steps away from me.

  “I’ll go get the medical kit.” His voice was flat, trying to hide any pain he felt.

  I reached out again and grabbed his arm with both hands, squeezing so hard my eyes watered from the pain in my injured knuckles. But I held fast as he tried to pull away.

  “Triven, he and I have a history, but that’s the only thing between us. And it definitely doesn’t change how I feel about you. I may owe him my life, but you are my life. You’re the one I chose to let in. You and Mouse. You’re the only reasons I survived. I love you.”

  He turned so fast I was nearly knocked over. Triven’s lips were loving, hungry and desperate all at once. They pushed against mine with a need so strong that it was almost frightening. Then just like that it was over. He pulled me to his chest, pressing his cheek to the top of my head as he held me. I could hear his heartbeat racing.

  “You have no idea how long I have waited for you to say that.” There was sadness in his voice when he spoke. “I just wish… it hadn’t been in reaction to someone else kissing you.”

  I pressed my face to his chest as my eyes began to burn. I had no words. I had selfishly kept those three words from Triven. But it wasn’t Ryker kissing me that had enabled me to say them aloud, it was what he said—that I loved Triven and Mouse. I did love them. In different ways of course, but they were mine. The only things I had ever cherished more than myself.

  “You could have said it first.” I muttered into his linen shirt.

  His responding laugh rumbled in his chest. “No, I couldn’t.”

  As always, he was giving me the choice. Letting me take control. Triven pulled away, lowering his gaze to meet mine. “I’m not blind. I see how he looks at you. There is a connection he shares with you that I will never have. I know you love me, but there is chemistry between you two. Even you admitted it. And as much as I love you, as much as I am willing to sacrifice my life for yours, as much as I trust you—I don’t trust him. Not anymore. I put your life in his hands when I could not save you. Granted he brought you back to us, but not in the way I would have hoped. Not without hurting you first. You and I once agreed that a person’s choices define them and I don’t trust Ryker’s.”